


A Small Request

by Oujou_sama



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: ARCHER SMILES BLESS, FGO - Freeform, Gen, What Was I Thinking?, a bit ooc..., i hope there will be feels but this may be a bit dumb, i think this is a crackfic huh..., its a oneshot but a bit long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:14:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24683653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oujou_sama/pseuds/Oujou_sama
Summary: On a late night within Chaldea, Saber Alter asks her master for a rather unusual request: to make her favorite dish- a burger!Unbeknownst to them, such a seemingly small request ends up becoming an arduous task....
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. A Late Night Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The request is made...

**Chapter One**

**“Master. I’m hungry.”**

The dreaded words hung in master’s ears, as she poured herself a drink of water.

It was just past eleven at night; a time in which not many souls would travel to the canteen. Whilst master had helped herself to a drink, she had unfortunately collided head-first into Chaldea’s most notorious midnight feaster.

Gulping heavily, she turned to face the maker of such a request.

It was none other than Saber Alter; the fully unleashed and most dangerous version of the King of Knights, Artoria Pendragon!

Clothed from head-to-toe in frighteningly beautiful deep purple armor, Saber Alter removed her spiked mask from her face; as she whipped her pale blond locks of hair.

**“Did you hear me…? I’m hungry. _Feed me at once._ ”**

To resist such an order would be paramount to death!

“Erm…Why are you asking me to cook? To be honest…We also have Emiya and Boudicca in our Chaldea, you know?” Somewhat apprehensive, master sweated profusely. _'What? What is going on?! Why is she asking me??'_

The impatient clicking of scaled boots against the clinically clean floors rung throughout the kitchen, imbuing master with a sense of dread.

Irritation rippled through Artoria’s features as she crossed her arms; her pale golden eyes boring into master’s skull. “I’d rather you wouldn’t refuse me. Besides, I’m only following your request, crude master.”

“Eh?” Master spun around, only to then be plunged into a deep ravine of memories- consisting of her asking for Saber Alter to rely upon her more…

* * *

_It was a gloomy day, approximately a year back. The two were engaged in a serious discussion, faces stern._

_“I need not trifle myself with such wanton matters.” Saber Alter had scoffed at the idea of relying on her master at the time. “Weakness only breeds more weakness.” She had decided to shut off master’s advances with a powerful rebuttal. Her word was final._

_Aware of this, master decided to finally give up._

_All she could do now was share the truth behind her desire to become a better ally towards the King._

_“You know, I used to think the same way,” Master admitted, lowering her head in shame. “I used to think that relying upon and opening up to others was the ultimate form of weakness, like you. I used to look at strong bonds such as love and friendship with scorn.”_

_‘ **What…?’** She wasn’t expecting to hear such a confession from her master; that always tried too hard to please the servants and staff surrounding her. _ _“And what has that got to do with me?”_

_“Not much, I guess.” Master laughed ruefully, as she strolled towards the Alter. “But let me tell you something- relying on others sometimes… Well, it can become your strength. Certain servants have taught me that well.” At that, master blushed slightly._

_**‘Huh…What is this? What?’** Saber Alter was infinitely quizzical of such a topic. _

_Yet she replied in harsh, clipped tones. “I don’t need others for strength. All you have to do is provide me with mana and fuel. And all I need to do is crush the enemies at our feet.”_

_“If you continue to say things like that, you’ll make Jeanne Alter sad!” Before Saber Alter could yell at master for saying such a random thing, Master tentatively gave Saber Alter a thumbs up._

**_'This master is so awkward....'_ **

_“At least let me do something menial- like cooking or something. Is that okay?”_

* * *

_‘What the hell have I gotten myself into…’_ Master balked at the memory. “I remember now. Well, I’m glad that you finally decided to rely on me!”

At this, Saber Alter smirked, an amused expression dancing across her features.

“You say such funny things, both you and her…”

Master’s eyes widened in surprise at that statement. “Erm…I’m only doing my duty as a master you know? Err… Well, what would you like to eat?” She tied an apron around her waist, as Saber Alter perched herself on a nearby chair.

Her stare was precise, steely.

**“Cook me a burger.”**

As master visibly recoiled at such a request, the King's smirk widened.

“What? Was that too difficult a request for you?”

“Haha! Not at all… I’m just amazed at the fact that you’re so predictable!” Master whipped out a recipe book from her pocket. “Archer just taught me how to make burgers the other day!!”

This did nothing to shake Artoria’s composure, as she uttered out a simple, “I already knew that. In fact, you’re the one that’s predictable.” In truth, Saber Alter had been waiting _**specifically**_ for a time in which she could confront master on her lonesome.

You see, the King had decided to give her master a challenge to prove her worth.

**Yes.**

In other words, if master wasn’t able to produce an adequate burger to satiate the King’s appetite, Saber Alter would listen to her master **no more**.

If her master was to fail at such a simple mission, then she would **_crush_** her beneath her soles and feed her to the dogs; relishing in her destruction.

 _‘You’ll regret this, master.’_ Saber Alter laced her palms together, settling her gaze upon her naive master. _‘With this, I’ll finally be able to be rid of you.’_

Master had **NO IDEA** what she was getting into…

* * *

First, it was time to collect ingredients!

Despite Chaldea stocking basic condiments such as bread, sauces, vegetables, dairy and seasoning; one vital ingredient was missing from the cupboards and fridges that filled Chaldea’s teeming kitchen.

_Meat._

Without meat, how could master make a burger worthy of her King’s taste buds?

“King…” Master began rather hesitantly, gulping loudly. “Chaldea’s run out of meat…”

“Then let’s hunt for some meat.” Saber Alter thrust her sword into the ground hard enough to rattle the many shelves. “And let’s do it **now**.”

“What the hell!” Master broke out in outrage. “There won’t be any servants willing to join us for hunting at this time!! And what meat would we go for, anyway? The meat of a Chimera? Or one of a Demon Boar?”

A mischievous glimmer tinged Artoria’s eyes as she paid heed to master’s complaints. “How about **both** …? The more meat used, the better!”

Saber Alter heaved her master over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes (despite her master being over 20 cm taller than her) and set off for an adventure.

“Off to Leyshifting we go!!”

It seemed that the topic of discussing meat had raised the King's spirits greatly.

* * *

As she trundled down the many pristine, boring halls; she finally placed her master down.

“Ah, finally…” Master rubbed her back. It was utter **_agony_** to have traveled upon Artoria’s back! “So…What are you doing now?”

“Recruiting a certain servant to help us catch some meat.”

And with that, Saber Alter smashed her foot into the door, breaking it apart at the hinges. “That was easy. I won’t have to use Excalibur Morgan, after all…” This King was insane!

As master gaped at the mettle of her powerful adversary in horror; a shrill “What time of night do you think this is?!” Sounded out from within the room that she had destroyed the entrance to.

“The time of night for me to have a meal, of course!!” The King deadpanned in reply. “You will come at once, Archer!”

 _‘Archer?’_ Intrigued by the name, Master peered into the room; only to see that it was absolutely cluttered with countless heroic weapons.

Inside the room was none other than a disgruntled Archer EMIYA; disturbed from his meticulous practice! At current, he seemed to be making an incredible number of generic broadswords.

“Ah, you’re here too; Master?”Archer dusted off his striking black trousers, as he sauntered up to the two.

Leaning against the now-broken post of the door-frame, he sighed. “What do you want?”

“Well, Saber Alter wanted me to make a burger, but we’re out of meat…” Master rubbed the back of her head. “Somehow, she believes that you’ll be willing to help us hunt for it.”

 **“ _‘She believes’_?”** Saber Alter repeated her master’s words with disgust. “What an absurd term to use. No. I **_declare_** he shall help us in our hunt tonight.”

“But it’s so late at night… You should let Archer rest! I’ll cook you a vegetable burger instead!!”

**“If you do that, I’ll spit it out and devour your soul.”**

A petty squabble broke out between master and the King- regarding whether they should be considerate to Archer or not.

Before they knew it, Saber Alter was already beginning to threaten to arm wrestle master over the matter, until a sharp chuckle of derisive laughter broke off the argument once and for all.

* * *

Muffling his mouth with a bronze arm, Archer chuckled slightly at the strange sight he had just witnessed. “She never changes…” He talked as if he had been overwhelmed by an intense sensation of nostalgia.

Noticing both Saber Alter and master’s inquisitive stares, Archer coughed lightly.

“That was nothing.”

Placing his hands on his hips, he shook his head. “You know, though I may be an adequate cook; I’m not the best hunter in Chaldea. There are other servants that pride themselves on that, you know?” Master knew exactly whom he was talking about. “If you want, I’ll show you where they are so that-“

“T-that won’t be necessary!” Master cut his line of thought off at once, her expression panicked. “Don’t worry! Saber Alter and I will collect monster meat alone!” Archer was amused by such a reaction.

“What are you saying, master!?” Saber Alter yelled, her expression fierce. “We must find this skilled hunter at once! **ARCHER! LEAD THE WAY!** ”

“EHHHH!!!” Master cried, as Archer did indeed lead the way. “Wait, Archer? You’re agreeing to go?”

“Of course.” Archer seemed to walk with a spring in his step. “This may end up being fun…”

 _‘I don’t think I like where this is going...'_ Master inhaled a deep breath.

‘ _What a pain…’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What inspired me to make this was one of Saber Alter's profile descriptions on FGO. It seems like she'll only eat the most unhealthy of junk food!  
> Haha the master's got a hellish job ahead. Good luck!


	2. The Legendary Boar Hunter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to hunt for some materials!

**Chapter Two**

As Archer politely knocked upon the door of the alleged _L_ _egendary Boar Hunter_ , master decided to attempt to coerce Saber Alter into considering alternate decisions instead.

“How about pancakes? I’m good at those!” Master suggested, desperation clear in her features.

Her suggestion was blithely ignored.

Worried, Master made yet another attempt to stop her. “I don’t want to burden too many servants with our mission, you know?” 

“It’s already too late for that.” Saber Alter faced her master, expression grave. “I thought you were a person who’d never back down from a promise.”

“T-THAT’S UNFAIR!!” Master screeched. “Look, if you like, I could make you burgers another-“

“Sorry master, but we've arrived now.” Archer guffawed, as he waited by the door. "Seeing as you’ll most likely be using _my_ recipe, I wouldn't mind trying some either.” 

Master was horrified. Not only was she to cook for Saber Alter; but now for the most talented chef in all of Chaldea? 

_'I'm screwed....'_

Engulfed in thought, master failed to realize the presence approaching them...

* * *

“What the hell’s going on here?” A sharp growl alerted them to the sight of a new visitor.

The legendary boar-hunter had arrived… Except he wasn’t in his room. They had caught him on his way back to it instead.

“Did you need me for something?” Lancer Cu grit his teeth slightly, expression confused. 

“I was wondering why you didn’t answer the door. What were you doing? Going out for a midnight rendezvous?” An amused smirk fluttered across Archer's features; his tone rather teasing.

“Hah! Jealous now, are we; **_Archer_**? If you stopped acting like you’ve got a stick up your ass, you’d maybe get midnight visits too!”

Master slapped yet another palm against her forehead at his childish retort. _'They're at it already?'_

At this rate, she’d never be able to cook Artoria’s late-night hamburger; let alone leave Chaldea to cook some meat!

“Unlike a certain simpering puppy, I have no need for such things.” Were Archer’s eyes- were they actually _sparkling_?

“Oho? Were you actually-”

Before Archer could finish his ceaseless taunting; the hissing screech of the King's corrupted, gleaming Excalibur drew the burgeoning fight to an end. 

“We have no time to waste here.” Saber Alter gave Archer a rough pat on the back. “Lancer.”

She strode valiantly towards him. “Are you good at hunting boar?”

“Well, yeah-” Swiftly interrupting him, Saber Alter cut him off; for his affirmation was all that she needed.

The King was taking _**no**_ prisoners today.

“Good.” The King grinned ferociously; her teeth bared. “You **will** help Archer and I collect some meat!!”

“What the hell for? Stop interrupting me, damnit!” Lancer was rather irritated by this exchange.

“Oi, master! Explain what’s going on here, will you?” His attention turned to the quietest member of the bunch; who was currently twiddling their thumbs- a nervous grimace on their face.

“Me? Well…” Master sighed. _‘I don’t want to do all of the explaining…’_ As she trailed off, Lancer raised his chin; urging for her to continue speaking- whilst Saber Alter began to egg her on, eyes twinkling with excitement. 

It seemed she had no choice but to comply.

“I was going to cook hamburgers for Saber Alter here, but we’ve run out of meat. So now we’re going to hunt for Chimera and Boar meat.”

At the mention of a Chimera, Lancer turned his nose up in disgust.

_‘Ah, I forgot… Chimera may include dog meat...’_ Master reflexively postured a hand upon her chin. “Though I’m not sure if we need Chimera meat, after all…”

**_Nice save!_ **

Despite the look of outrage that flickered across Artoria’s face at master’s suggestion, the look of disgust on Lancer’s managed to subside.

“Alright, I get that. So why exactly are you all here, then? Let me guess- Archer probably told you something, huh?”

“He stated that you were a Legendary boar hunter!!” Artoria’s pale golden eyes twinkled. “If master is to make me a worthy hamburger, then your assistance becomes vital.”

Archer chuckled softly to himself at Artoria’s passionate declaration, earning him a quizzical stare from Lancer in reply.

“Is that so…?” Lancer quirked an eyebrow in surprise. “Wasn’t expecting such praise from you, Archer.”

“Well, what can I say? It’s only natural to recommend somebody of your caliber.” Archer smirked slightly. “I’m giving praise where it’s due, Lancer.”

“Oh~ I see.” Lancer lips quirked into a quite intimidating smirk of its own. “You’re a strange one, Archer…”

_‘Is it me or has the atmosphere changed?’_ Master felt it within her heart.

The frizzling, negative energy between the two warriors had ebbed into something much quirkier and mischievous. ‘ _Is this flirting? Or banter? Do these two get along or not? I can’t tell anymore…’_ They bantered like old foes reminiscing over the past; yet there was a friendly nature to their arguments.

* * *

Deciding to take advantage of this change in atmosphere, Master piped up. “Well then. How about joining us on the hunt, Lancer? You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

“Hmm…” Lancer scratched his chin, deep in thought. Eventually, he decided to tag along. “Well, why not?”

At this, the King rallied a war cry. “That’s the spirit! Let us depart, post haste!”

But before she began to march off, Lancer raised a hand.

“Wait. You’ll have to fulfill two of my conditions first.”

_‘CONDITIONS?!!!’_ Whilst master was irritated, Saber Alter visibly glared; crossing her arms; whilst Archer grinned, clearly interested.

“They’re pretty simple.” Lancer twirled his spear in an arc. “Firstly, I’ll come along if we don't hunt any Chimera. _**Is that clear?**_ ” 

Saber Alter's expression became severe. “Fine. I’ll adhere to that request. What’s your final one?”

“The last request’s an easy one, as well.” Turning back to master, Lancer’s grin widened even further. “Let me eat a burger too, master! I want to taste your cooking.”

At this, the entire party reacted in shock. Master’s eyes bulged with utter surprise.

"WAIT? Why? ” Master exclaimed, wildly gesturing. “I’m only agreeing to cook for Saber Alter because I promised her I would!”

“Well, that’s not fair, master! The least you could do is honor my request.” Lancer frowned. “It’s only right to do a favor in return for another one!”

“Well said, Lancer.” Archer duly agreed. “It’s unusual for us to agree on something for once.”

“Heh, you're in the mood for a late night snack as well, Archer?”

“As the one who taught master how to cook, I thought this would be the right opportunity to do so." Archer smiled slightly.

“…” Master was utterly defeated. “Alright, whatever… My cooking isn’t anywhere near to Archer's level, though. Don’t get your hopes up.”

* * *

It was **horrendous**.

Demon boars surrounded the party, saliva dripping from their burning mouths as they yelled; a cacophony of hellish screams encircling the forest. The night sky had devoured the world around them, with only the glistening moon above illuminating their faces.

_‘…I want to go home…’_ Master groaned, as she watched the three utterly annihilate the enemy.

For hours, things had gone in a cycle- as each boar was defeated, another one would run towards them. After accidentally destroying their cavern with a frighteningly powerful _Excalibur Morgan_ , Saber Alter had reveled in enraging the entire family of boar!

When reprimanded for doing so, the King simply replied with a, “The more meat, the better.”

_‘…’_ As master enhanced the power of her team, Archer enveloped the land within a deserted; barren field of endless gears.

“?!” The boars grunted as they turned their attention to Archer, rushing towards him.

They could sense the impending danger of his attack!

But before they could even reach him, Lancer slashed through the first line with his spear, as Saber Alter unleashed yet another devastating blow of her Noble Phantasm upon the dangerous beasts.

All seemed fine, until a few broke from their formation and lashed into the two from the side!

“Heh!” There was no way for them to attack Lancer, who was equipped with the ‘Evade’ skill. As they bumped off his invisible defense; they swirled head-first into an unsuspecting Saber Alter- whose hands were already full of boars targeting her sides.

As for Saber Alter; despite the attack landing heavy damage- one of master’s command spells instantly restored her health- giving her enough time to entirely obliterate the foolish creatures that would dare to challenge her.

“ ** _And as I pray… Unlimited Blade Works!”_** An inescapable legion of countless swords from an entire wreath of various myths came hurtling down upon the boars, clearing the field at once.

A symphony of screeches could be heard, as the boars were entirely pulverized.

* * *

The battle was finally over.

Worn out from the skirmish, master approached the party with a beaming smile. “Nice job, everyone!”

“Thank you. It’s not as if you helped that much, anyway.” Archer sneered, earning himself a glare.

“Hey! That was offensive!” As master groaned at him, Archer began to chuckle.

“I was only joking.” Turning around to Saber Alter, he inquired as to whether she was okay. “You seemed to take quite the beating over there.”

“I think you’re mistaken. I am in perfect health!” Artoria’s lips thinned with distaste. “I only had a mild disturbance with those boars.”

“Well, that’s what you get for picking a fight with an ENTIRE cavern of them!” Lancer sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Despite there being better ways to get the job done, you sure went hardcore!"

“Sometimes extreme measures must be taken.” Her eyes glimmered. “If it wasn’t for me, who knows if we’d be able to have caught as many as we have now?”

“Why does it matter, anyway?” Archer interjected. “The end result would’ve been the same either way.”

“Erm…actually…” Master frowned. “I think we may have a new problem on our hands, actually…” They gestured to the masses of ginormous boar carcasses surrounding them all.

“How on earth are we actually going to bring all of these boar home? I mean, I didn’t think you wanted to eat **that many** burgers!!”

As the wind blew around them, a painful silence rung in the air.

“…I actually… Never considered how we’d haul this load back home.” She eventually confessed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what I class as true 'self indulgence'!! TT_TT  
> ...I hope there isn't too much dialogue in this story. My writing tends to be dialogue heavy. Is that a trait developed from reading a lot of manga? Not too sure myself, actually.
> 
> ALSO WAT THIS SABER ALTER IS SO CHEERFUL?!!!   
> HOW?!!


	3. Boarger King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The King's request has finally been completed.  
> Now, all that is left is to see whether if it is worthy of their lofty standards...

**Chapter Three**

The four of them made for a rather surreal image once they landed back within the pristine halls of Chaldea.

Lugging a boar on each shoulder, they trooped towards the kitchen; with a struggling master carting a few more boars upon a magic-enhanced trolley carved from leftover branches and plants.

Once they settled, master all but flopped to the ground; as the others placed their boar on the kitchen counter. _‘That was hell…’_

The comfortingly cool floors soothed master’s aching body, her soul merging with the ground. _‘Time to rest-’_

“What are you doing on the floor? **It’s time for you to cook.** ” Saber Alter was already seated on the cafeteria table, tapping her feet impatiently- as her golden eyes narrowed with distress.

“I’ve worked up an appetite. Get to work.” As she spoke, Lancer and Archer sat beside her.

“W-WAIT.” Master rushed to her feet. “I’d prefer if you three could let me cook **alone**.”

Sure, she had to cook- but there was no need for them to watch her doing so! _'It's not as if it'd be interesting...'_

“No can do.” Archer laughed slightly. “I plan to stay right here.” 

“Eh, what’s the problem? Just pretend that we’re not here.” Lancer grinned cheerfully. “Besides, master… Do you even know how to prepare boar meat?”

That was actually a **VERY GOOD** question. An **VERY** **IMPORTANT** question that master had failed to even consider before agreeing to all of this.

_How the hell was she supposed to prepare an entire boar, let alone cook it?!_

* * *

Glancing at the hairy creatures on the counter, realization finally dawned upon master.

“I’ve never cooked a boar in my life…”

“Ah, I thought so-” A loud clattering noise disrupted them. "Eh?"

“YOU CAN’T COOK MEAT?!” Saber Alter leapt up in outrage, weapon at the ready. “Then you leave me with no choice-” She was about to unsheathe her blade, until master piped up.

“WAIT! Well, seeing as you three are here, can’t you teach me how to turn a boar from, well… **_that_** … into minced boar?” She was desperate.

_‘If I don’t cook her burger, I'm not sure what she'll do...'_ Saber Alter was incredibly unpredictable at times, and could be quite frightening at times.

Thinking of this, shivers shook her spine.

* * *

Silence passed throughout the room as master and Saber Alter remained locked within a powerful stare-off. Despite wanting to turn away, master knew that if she even so much as slightly caved in- her head would be detached from her body.

Eventually giving in to master’s request, the King grunted irritably. “Fine. As long as you do the rest by yourself.”

“Thank you!!!” Master squealed with joy. “I’ll make sure to make you proud, Alter!”

“Hmph.” Her brows furrowed. “You heard her, fellow servants. Help her prepare the boar.”

Saber Alter turned her blade towards them, expression deadly. “Will you aid master? Or will you face my wrath if you plan to disobey me? The choice is yours.”

Though her threats were frightening, the two servants that she was aiming them towards were anything but scared. As Archer muffled laughter behind his hands, clinging onto the chair for support, Lancer decided to take this as an opportunity to tease her a little.

“Though I do love a strong woman; I’d prefer it if you asked for my assistance in a sweeter manner.” Lancer winked at Saber Alter unleashing her rage.

“What an impudent man you are!”

“Is it bad to want a little extra? I am doing you a favor, you know?” As they began to bicker, Archer strode to master’s side.

* * *

“I’ll help.” Archer declared. “I don’t usually prepare boar… But I’m an expert with other meats.”

He instantly got to tracing the fur to see where exactly the fat lied within the boar, so that he could precisely skin it without losing any meat. “Watch and follow, master.”

Eyes sparkling with gratitude, master also lifted up a knife to copy him. “Archer… Thank you.” Pure joy swelled within her heart as she surveyed the boar in front of her. 

“I’m only doing my duty as a servant,” He continued to work. “Besides… This is the most fun I’ve had in a while. It’s refreshing to see her like this...” His expression was distant, as if he was happily mulling over a memory from the past.

“Huh~ I think you need to use a larger knife for that. Boar meat is pretty tough, you know?” A pair of strong arms wrapped around them both.

Jumping in shock, they turned to face Lancer.

“Oh, so you finally decided to join us; after all.” Archer raised an eyebrow in surprise. “You seemed like you were having too much fun challenging Saber Alter over there.”

“Well, I grew bored of that. It wouldn’t hurt to help out, I guess…” Master’s grin grew wide at this.

“Glad we could finally get you to help out!”

“What do you take me for?” He smiled blissfully. “I’m always here to help when you need me, you know?”

“Hmm…” That was all she could say. “Okay! That's good!” Fingering her guns awkwardly, she was unsure as to how to react to such an earnest statement. 

“Oi! What kind of reply was that? Aren’t you going to thank me too?”

* * *

Saber Alter was impressed.

As she watched them set to work (well, watched master grimace as Lancer and Archer competed over who was the best at flaying meat); an immense kaleidoscope of memories flashed within her mind.

Memories of a traditional Japanese-style house; of a cheerful family that ate with one another- a loud teacher, a polite girl; a snowy-white haired being; a beautiful purple-haired being with black-rimmed glasses; a sharp-witted girl with twin tails in her hair…

...And finally, memories of a man with bright orange hair, paired with a bright smile; tore at her heartstrings.

Nostalgia rippled through her as mundane, yet precious thoughts of those times made her wish for a return to her second home.

Though the group before her now was different, she hoped that someday… That they’d all be able to meet again.

_‘This isn’t the time to be sentimental.’_ Saber Alter shook her head vigorously, pale blonde locks swaying by her side. _‘For now, let’s just focus on the events at hand_.’

Besides, deep within her heart- she was certain.

They’d reunite again someday.

* * *

After having to witness master’s brutal and rather dangerous attempts at cooking, the burgers were finally grilled!

Placing the boar patties- oozing with melted cheese- within a basic bread bun layered with fried onions, basic sauce, lettuce and juicy tomatoes; master set a plate heaving with six burgers upon Saber Alter’s plate.

“Sorry for the wait.” Master was utterly exhausted. “Here you go- boar burger!”

Tying their apron back up, they set back to work. “Now, how many burgers do the two of you want?”

“Two is fine,” Archer replied, whilst Lancer lifted up his ** _entire_ left hand**. Master paled in horror as she resumed shaping and grilling the minced boar meat.

Saber Alter warily eyed the burgers before her.

Sitting upon a mere paper plate, they made for quite a **_shabby_** sight. She sighed. “These better be worth the wait, master.”

A loud gulp from nearby confirmed that master had heard her.

Lifting up the burger ever-so-slightly, Saber Alter lightly tipped it to see just how much oil would leak from the meat. _‘The oilier, the better.’_

The King prided herself upon consuming only the **_unhealthiest_** forms of junk food. When only a slight drop of oil leaked from the burger, she sighed in disappointment. Eyeing it carefully for any obvious flaws, golden eyes shrewdly analysed master’s handicrafts.

“Seriously… What is she doing?” Lancer and Archer both gave Saber Alter quizzical stares.

**Did she think that she was a judge in a cooking show?**

* * *

Finally, Saber Alter grew bored of analyzing the burger. Taking a huge bite from the burger, she bravely plunged into its depths.

At first, there was nothing but lean boar meat to taste.

It was bland and slightly charred.

_‘Boring-’_ Saber Alter was about to spit the burger onto the floor until a whoosh of various spices and seasoning filled her mouth with the sensation of a thousand festivals.

Like fireworks, they popped in her mouth.

Then the caramelized onions soothed the fireworks, as a valley of oozing cheese drifted her along a fresh river of lettuce-infused water. As she landed onto an array of bountiful tomatoes, a soft bun of bread enveloped her within a soft hug.

Though the flavors were immature and quite hurriedly put together, Saber Alter could taste the feelings of those that had made her food.

Master’s hope, Archer’s passion and Lancer’s strength...A world of thoughts and feelings were contained in this burger.

Greedily, she continued to devour them all; her mind imbued within the world of the burger.

It was delicious, _scrumptious_ even.

By the time she was done, master was plating up burgers for the other two. Once she was done, Saber Alter grabbed master's arm.

“ _ **!**_ ” Master reacted in surprise. “Did you like it?”

“Your flavors are immature, and you’re rather lacking in skill.” Saber Alter didn’t hold back, master’s expression crestfallen.

“But-”

“I tasted your feelings, master. The feelings of one who wants to do their very best for their servants.”

“… What does that mean?” Master was extremely confused by that. “Burgers don’t contain such feelings…”

“You’re wrong, master.” Saber Alter rose to her feet. “I now understand why you wish to become somebody that we can all rely on.”

Master involuntarily blushed at this. “...I'm not sure what to say, but thanks...”

**_“On that note… May I have some seconds? I’d love to eat more of your burgers.”_ **

It was certain.

Master’s feelings had become clear to Saber Alter.

_‘Maybe I’ll try to get to know them some more,’_ Saber Alter thought wistfully to herself as they settled down for their meal.

_Maybe being in Chaldea wasn’t such a bad thing, after all…_

*****THE END*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope she enjoyed her boarger!   
> Saber Alter is such a fun character, that will of steel and her harsh quips are so much fun to write!  
> (also haha i think i got WAY TOO HYPED when writing Emiya and Lancer Cu into this story. love em man they're so cool ;;)
> 
> also the whole emiya family is now reunited in the fgo! wahoo!

**Author's Note:**

> This story is cheesier than expected. Actually, was it even okay to upload this story? Is it a crackfic???!!!  
> If you gave this unusual fic a chance, thank you. I'm not sure why but I was pretty convinced that this was my best work of writing (?!!!) 
> 
> I love Saber Alter's character. Not sure if it's been portrayed correctly here, to be honest.


End file.
